In response to an FT article by Gideon Rachman on 11th April 2016, entitled 'Boris Johnson, David Cameron and the day after Brexit'
THIS POST WAS CENSORED BY THE FT - READERS CAN MAKE UP THEIR OWN MIND ABOUT THAT
The FT Executive Tea Room – the morning of June 24th 2016
Gideon enters the room, unshaven but not stirred…
Lionel Barber: Thank God you’re here Gideon - we’ve been waiting for you to tell us what to say when the ‘Oh my God, what have we done’ article that Martin wrote when the polls closed finally exhausts the readers who’ve been awake all night.
We’ve got to have something for the morning crew. Martin has had 3000 posts overnight; subscribers are repeating themselves badly, some are slurring their words and three wars have broken out – everyone is taking sides, even the people who don’t normally give a hoot. Some people appear drunk and one chap has resorted to alliteration – ten paragraphs with every word beginning with B. There is some very strange terminology appearing that even Martin hasn’t heard before – he’s very upset. What shall we do?
Gideon: How the bloody hell should I know! I never thought it would actually happen
Lionel: well you’re the one who wrote that piece back in April describing exactly what would happen. It turns out you were spot on – we’ve just heard from north of the border that Nicola Sturgeon is planning to go in front of the cameras at noon to demand another referendum; the back benchers are already clamouring for Dave’s blood, George has gone to the gym looking very worried and Janan says the word in the village is that number 10 have just put in a huge order for Victoria sponge. It seems everyone thinks you’ve been channelling George Soros and know something the rest of us don’t. You’ve got to write something uplifting before the stock market opens Gideon – my relationship with Barack is on the line here and I’ve already had a flea in my ear from ‘He who must be obeyed San’
Gideon: Oh for Gawd’s sake why does it always come down to me to save your skin Lionel? Sod the tea, get me a drink
Lionel: Dry Martini?
Gideon: Whatever, just make it a large one
Lionel: Shaken or stirred?
Gideon: Do I look like I give a damn Lionel?
Lionel: Perhaps not Gideon, sorry old chap
Martin: Can I have one of those Lionel…