The archive is catalogued by 'Politics', 'Economics', 'Mockery', 'In other news' and 'On other things' 


"Who controls the food supply controls the people; who controls the energy can control whole continents; who controls money can control the world" - Henry Kissinger

and yet...

"Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences" – Robert Louis Stevenson

Dear Japan, it's not working, please elect me again before it gets really bad, thanks, Abe

In response to an FT article by Ben McLannahan and Kana Inagaki on 18th November 2014, entitled 'Shinzo Abe delays tax rise and gambles on snap election'

Dear People of Japan

Sorry about the fact that I raised your taxes and your wages haven't gone up. I was just trying to get you to spend a bit more but it seems you still have a 'deflationary mindset', I'm sorry, I meant to say you don't like being in debt as much as we do in government.

Anyway, not to worry, I'd like to change my mind about taxing you any further. This was all the idea of the previous lot anyway, so I think we should be unanimous in condemning them roundly!

I'm going to be frank with you now, please sit down…money printing isn't working...but I don't know what else to do...and unfortunately we're too far in to back out I'm going to go 'all in' as they say in hollywood gambling movies, and monetize all government debt…there I said it…phew! Meanwhile I'm going to force your pension schemes to buy stocks, which I'm sure will go up because the 0.01 percent are bound to take full advantage of a sure thing. That's good isn't it?

This is a desperate measure that will likely trash the currency and lead to a massive default, but it's all I've got left. I need you to elect me again to do this so I can share the blame with you afterwards, sorry I meant get your full backing.

Please give me one more roll of the dice, and remember that I've been advised to do this by a Nobel prize winner in astrology, sorry economics.

Yours in full expectation of a renewed majority

Your Grateful Leader

P.S. Please pray that 'trickle down' and 'the wealth effect' turn out to exist.

Alan Greenspan at the Council on Foreign Relations - on the economy, the welfare state and gold

Banks fined $4.3bn but no-one goes to jail. The cover-up is worse than the crime