In response to 'FT Predictions - the world in 2015' on 30th December 2014
2015 - Just when you thought it was safe to raise rates…QE rides again...AKA "Three Moles in a Hole"…
It is 3am on a dark night…three economists are in a hole…none of them know how they got there…
Doctor Ben: "That's another fine mess you've gotten me into!"
Honest Larry: "What was that you said?"
Doctor Ben: "Huh?…oh not you... I was just thinking about the Maestro…"
Professor Paul: "Never mind the Maestro, what we need is a ladder!"
Honest Larry: "Alas, stimulating demand for ladders doesn't seem to have produced any yet"
Professor Paul: "That's because we haven't printed enough wood - didn't you read my column?"
Honest Larry: "Do you write a column?"
Doctor Ben: "Boys please! Professional rivalry is not going to get us out of this hole now is it?"
Professor Paul: "Neither is dwelling on past failures! We need to think our way out of this hole. We need a cunning plan. Let's start with a brainstorm, Larry what have you got?"
Honest Larry: "Well if there really is no such thing as a good idea or a bad idea, then why don't we assume a ladder…you know like in the story"
Doctor Ben: "They were making fun of us in that story Larry…it's a joke"
Honest Larry: "Oh you mean like 'irony"
Doctor Ben: "Yes, something like that"
Honest Larry: "Well of course I knew that, I was just being ironic"
Professor Paul: "My turn, I'm a man of action, I didn't get where I am today by making assumptions"
Honest Larry: "I hate to point this out old chap, but where you are today is in a hole"
Professor Paul: "Zip it frat boy! What we need to do is this: I'll stand over there next to the wall, Ben you stand on my shoulders, Larry you stand on Ben's shoulders, then I'll stand on your shoulders and pull myself out"
Doctor Ben: "We've still got the problem of how to get Larry and myself out...it's 'all for one and one for all' as Keynes used to say…or was that Milton?...Anyway it doesn't matter now…OK my turn…look, as Chairman my job is to build a consensus from combining your ideas…so I think Larry should use his assumptive powers and assume us a shovel, then Paul, as a man of action you should start digging us out"
Honest Larry and Prof Paul in unison: "What are you going to do?"
Doctor Ben: "I'm going to call Eccles with a cover story for the press"
Honest Larry: "Give my regards to Janet, tell her I'm glad she got the job…honest"
Doctor Ben: "She won't be in the office at 3am, she'll be at home doing spreadsheets"
Professor Paul: "I love spreadsheets"
Doctor Ben: "OK enough of this talk…start digging"